Aced It
by The Utterly Fabulous Z
Summary: A little thing I whipped up for AAW two weeks ago and forgot to post. Rated for certainly suggestive themes. Not for those under fourteen.


**HEYO MY PEEPS I'M NOT DEAD!**

 **GOOD NEWS!**

 **BLUE EXORCIST IS GETTING SEASON TWO NEXT YEAR!**

 **AND ASEXUAL AWARENESS WEEK WAS TWO WEEKS AGO!**

 **YEP, I'M ASEXUAL. SO I MADE A THING TO EMBRACE THE ACE!**

 **I ONLY OWN LARSEN AND THIS FANFICTION. BLUE EXORCIST BELONGS TO KAZUE KATO.**

* * *

"Class, we have a mission to take care of. It will be difficult, to say the least, but Director Faust believes you are capable of handling it." Yukio explains. "A group of five succubi and three incubi have taken up residence in the basement of the school. They must be exorcised before they can do any real damage. They are categorized as the kin of Astaroth, and can only be exorcised using an aria, which I have made copies of for you. A weapon or a familiar may also be useful." He passes piece of paper around.

Larsen snorts, trying to stifle a laugh.

"Is something funny, Miss Turner?" Yukio asks, an unamused expression overcoming his face.

"Nah, just remembered something." She answers, snickering quietly.

"In that case, you have one hour to prepare for the mission." Yukio dismisses the class. "Miss Turner, a word." Larsen sighs. "Larsen, I know you do things differently because you're a transfer student, but please, follow protocol for this mission."

Larsen looks up to her much taller teacher and friend. "You got it, Yukio. I'm gonna ace the mission." She salutes before running her hand through her pixie-cut blonde hair. Yukio makes a confused face before shrugging and leaving. Larsen smirks and spins her ring around.

An hour later, the Exwires stand in front of the door to the basement. "Remember, the demons will try to seduce you. They will appear differently to each of you, based on your desires. Do not fall for it. You all have the aria, use it. If you need help, call me." Yukio opens the door and he and the Exwires step inside.

"Good luck guys, you're gonna need it." Bon mutters under his breath.

"Especially Shima." Konekomaru tacks on. Larsen snickers, whispering 'roasted'.

"Sorry, Bon, but I'm not going to." She smirks confidently. The dirty-blonde girl nods. "Split up. Cover more ground. Try not to get caught."

The others nod, heading off into different directions.

After fifteen minutes, Larsen finds a door leading to a sub-room. She opens it to find one of the succubi straddling Shima. She sighs as it turns to her. "Hello there. There's more of me to go around." The succubus' voice sounds like one of an enchantress that could be found in a movie. "Won't you come join us?"

"Actually…" The door shuts behind Larsen.

A couple minutes later, Larsen kicks the door open, shuddering. "One down, seven to go." She turns to a blushing Shima. "Just leave. You're useless, horn dog. And take this; I don't need it anymore." She hands Shima the aria.

"Uh, thanks Larsen." He awkwardly pipes up.

"Keep it in your pants, Shima." She deadpans, pointing to the exit. The pinket hangs his head in shame before shuffling off.

After another half an hour, she found Shiemi, Rin, Bon, Izumo, and Konekomaru, getting them all out of trouble. "Six down, two to go." She groans, cringing. "I can't wait to leave." She mutters, opening yet another door. This time, there's only one being in the room: the remaining incubus.

"Welcome. Won't you care to join me?" He asks, sultry voice coaxing Larsen closer. She smiles sweetly, murderous intent well hidden. The door closes behind her.

After a few minutes, Larsen bursts out of the room, bodily cringing. "Uck. Seven down, one to go."

She finds Yukio two minutes later. The last demon looks over at the dirty-blonde haired girl. "Won't you join us?" The succubus asks seductively.

Larsen approaches the demon, looking down at Yukio. He appears to be in a trance. Larsen rolls her eyes.

"In the name of Jesus Christ, I withdraw all invitations and permissions to all incubus and succubus spirits. And in the name of Jesus Christ, I command all incubus and succubus spirits to leave my presence, leave my dwelling place, and leave my land; and take your families with you." She intones, and the demon screeches. Larsen draws her sword from the sheath strapped to her side.

"In the name of Jesus Christ, and with the Sword of the Spirit, I cut and sever all soul ties, and attachments to all incubus, and succubus spirits."

She finishes, lashing out with the blade and raking it across the succubus' torso. It splatters in a gross, sex-scented explosion.

Larsen wipes her sword on the sheets of the bed, turning away from Yukio and leaving the basement. A few awkward minutes later, Yukio emerges from the basement. "All of the demons have been exorcised, no thanks to all you horny teenagers." Larsen grumbles, shuddering from the experience.

"Larsen, you're a teenager too." Konekomaru points out.

"Yeah, weren't you affected by the demons?" Bon asks.

Larsen face palms. "Yes, I'm a teenager, as you can clearly see. I said you all are horny teenagers. There's a difference." She cringes. "I experience no sexual desire or attraction. Sex and the concept of it grosses me the hell out. Which is exactly why I said I was gonna ace the mission— ace as in succeed, and ace as in asexual. Double entendres, my friends." She explains. "Can we go now? I feel dirty and I need to scrub all of the icky off of me."

"Um… what?" Rin asks, confused. Larsen sighs.

"I am not horny. I never have been and never will be horny. I don't want or like sex or the concept of it." Larsen explains slowly, holding up her right hand and displaying the black ring on her middle finger.

Rin nods slowly, kind of understanding. "Ohhhhkay then?"

The group leaves, Larsen scolding the rest of them for being too horny to complete the mission.

Once she arrives back in her dorm, Larsen heads to the bathroom and takes a long, hot shower. When she steps out into her room, there's a slice of strawberry cake sitting on her bed, a note beside it.

She picks it up and reads it.

 **Dear Miss Turner,**

 **It has come to my attention that Asexual Awareness Week occurred last month. Alas, as I was uninformed, this has been delayed.**

 **Due to the certain demons infesting the basement, I thought now would be the perfect time to give you this.**

 **~Mephisto Pheles**

She smiles and bites into the cake.

"Aced it."


End file.
